Revoked

Who am I going to spend my
Nights with?
Who am I going to excite?
Who is going to ecstatically read every single
Stupid word that I write?

Why would you put me through this?
You know I'm sensitive, why
Did this seem to you like a good idea?
Why would we get close,
Only to have our connection revoked?

What now is going to happen?
We go our separate ways, that's apparent.
What made you decide it
Needed to end like this? It wasn't peaceful
It was tragic.

A message received on a funeral day—
Heart melted to death in my chest,
Bled through my ribs and out of my skin
Leaving in its wake feelings of sorrow
Regret and unrest.

I hold no grudges, but still cannot grasp
When you decided this just couldn't last
How come you felt a need to pull the plug?
Was it something I said? Something I did?
Your own fault? All or none of the above?

Panic, panic,
Something went wrong.
Panic, panic,
A friend is gone.
Just what I feared all along.

Tried so hard to deny every hint you ever dropped
Said you didn't feel good, had no place
Didn't belong.
You were too hard on yourself
I was willing to help,

Help you get through it.
Even a loner needs someone
To care for them.
Someone to lean on, believe in
Someone who believes in them.

I hope you're happy
I hope you're safe.
I hope you find stability, your purpose in life.
I hope you feel good about the times we had.
I hope you have someone to lift you up when you're sad.

I pray that you never feel alone
I pray that you know I remember you.
I pray you never forget who I am, what we had
Who we were, the time we shared.
I pray you're healthy and happy.

No I don't understand
And yes, it's going to take time.
I'll admit I was fond of you, very fond indeed
A piece of you was mine
And you had a piece of me.

You were enamored by my mind,
Intrigued by my very soul.
Thought you had no place in my heart
But you were wrong, cuz I gave you some of that gold.
Now I beg you, take care of it, cuz I can't ever get it back.

You wanted me, I gave you as much as I could.
You dreamed of me, I thought about you
Constantly. Wondered what you were up to
How you were doing
If everything was okay.

I prayed for you. I'm still going to.
Somehow, one way or another, I learned to 
Love you. 
Learned to care.
But you're gone now, and that worries me.

Forever I may ponder
How you are holding up
Who you've met, what your plans are, what you've done.
I hope you do the same for me, I'll miss relaying
Stories. Into wee hours of the night. Insomniacs.

It is likely for the best
But I hold tight, I love deep.
It's hard to let go.
I know I must, I know I'm strong
And I have certainly done this before.

A message received like a funeral day—
Heart melted to death in my chest,
Bled through my ribs and out of my skin
Leaving in its wake feelings of sorrow
Regret and unrest.

A message, received on a funeral day:

Take care my friend,
All the very best,
Here I bid adieu.
Stay your wonderful self,
And all the best.

Oh but I still love you
And I will always miss you.