[4]

King Charles of Tovrea

"Excuse me, sir? No wild animals permitted inside."

   Wade stared incredulously at the young woman before him and blinked quickly before leaning in slightly as if he hadn't heard her. "What was that?"

   "So deaf," Skipper snorted under her breath, still nursing her pamplemousse Buzzkill. She kicked at the hot pavement and tried to drown out Wade's annoying voice as he proceeded to argue with the lady about why he should be permitted to walk his anteater at such an exhibit. The sun was beating down heavily and despite her heavily polarized sunglasses, it hurt Skipper's eyes. She wandered off a little ways to find some shade, her sensitive skin crying out in protest. The longer Wade argued, the longer she'd have to remain in the baking daylight. 

   After some time, Wade approached her, looking altogether like a sulky, scolded child. "I guess Charles is gonna have to stay in the car. That nerd is firmly convinced that Charles is a wild animal."

   "Isn't he?"

   "No! He's domesticated!"

   "Says the uncivilized yard ape."

   "You take that back."

   "I will not."

   "Take it back!"

   "Won't he overheat if we leave him in the car?" She deflected, an eyebrow raised and slight concern in her tone. Much as she disliked this creature, it was still cruel to leave him cooped up in a car in Arizona heat.

   "I mean, I can leave some windows open and give him plenty of water...I'm sure he'll be fine. Anteaters can adapt to different habitats, you know. Some live in rainforests, some on savannas." Wade shrugged like he didn't care, but he was gripping his pet's leash as if it was his personal lifeline. Charles licked Wade's feet, his long snout rooting around in search of tasty ants. Wade ruffled the creature's fur affectionately. "Or we could find a different attraction..."

   Skipper stared dully at him, arms folded. "And spend more time on the road?"

   Wade shrugged again. "I mean, it's my job to drive you around, is it not? I don't recall there being anything stated that I'd also be your personal...attendant. Honestly I could wait here with Charles while you enjoy the castle."

   "Just because you're my Uber doesn't mean I don't want you to enjoy sightseeing. This is technically the longest work vacation you'll ever take." Skipper stated blandly, glancing in the direction of the attraction. "We'll leave Charles with plenty of water and my battery-powered fan, and since you parked in the shade, he'll be just peachy."

   "Peachy, hmm?" Wade smirked, leading the way back to the vehicle. Skipper glanced toward the castle. The lady who'd given Wade so much trouble was leaving, and a young man was taking her place. Skipper nudged Wade's arm. 

   "Look, a fellow derp of your genus," she snickered. "I betcha he'll let Charles explore with us."

   "Oh? OHHHH." Wade's eyes widened as the realization hit him, the smirk quickly twisting his mouth once more. "Ohh yes. Here." He handed her the leash, and together with the anteater in tow they approached the admission man.

   This dude clearly thought Skipper was adorable, toting an anteater around like she was, and gave her zero flack about allowing the animal to take the inside tour, so long as they all wore those funny paper shoe covers. This was to preserve the floor. Smugly, Skipper traipsed along while Wade wandered close behind.

   From the outside, the castle (which is really more of a mansion) looked like a massive wedding cake set in the desert, surrounded by beautiful paths and vast assortments of cacti. On the inside of this mansion were various exhibits set up to educate visitors on the history of the place. As the pair wandered, Charles shuffled beside them with his tongue out. There was so much to explore!

   "Can I have his leash back?" Wade pleaded. Skipper handed him her empty drink can and walked a little faster. Wade frowned. "Give me my anteater, dang it! I thought you hated him!"

   "They clearly trust me to walk him, not you," she retorted. "So that means I get to hold his leash until we're done here."

   "I hate you."

   "So original," she rolled her eyes and quickened her pace further. Wade grit his teeth and charged after her, pleading for repossession of his precious pet while other tourists stared at them like they were insane. 

   Who knows? Maybe they were insane.

   As their tour neared its end, Wade began chuckling to himself. Skipper shot him a look. "What's so funny?"

   "Oh, nothing."

   "Liar."

   "Skip—"

   "Hold it right there, mister Uber. You do not have permission to nickname me."

   "Too late, Chubs."

   "Shut UP! I am not chubby! What's so funny anyway?!"

   "Fine, I'll tell you. Charles is in a castle. Therefore, he's King Charles the Anteater."

   "You're a dork."